Third person works well, the only thing you might want to change is some word choices and phrasing, but only if you really want to. As is, it's really good.

It is very good right now. I sure didn't stop reading from boredom. I felt like I was right there. There was enough detail to draw a picture but not too much. Everything was pretty mundane but you make mundane interesting. As far as the critique by Angel, I was able to tell who was speaking at the gas station and I didn't even think about it or strain to figure out who said what. The way you set forth the conversation makes for a good flow-----just like the rest of the story---it meanders on. As far as defining what he wanted at the gas station, had it been gasoline, who cares? All of it leading up to his arrival at the park is letting us know he's a human being, like the rest of us. As it is, he wanted matches since he asked for them at two places. And we later learn the water he purchased isn't to drink (as we'd supposed) with the cigarette he'd be smoking in a few minutes.

As I've said before, I'm not an expert (my thing is photography) but to this reader you're a very skilled story teller. This was a beautiful way to relate what most of us have felt at one time or another---the setting---alone (with his dog) in a familiar but empty and darkish park at night---makes it all the more poignant.

wow.

i only really have one thing to ask really,
does he ever find her? or love in general?
cause if he doesn't, then my heart just broke a little.

absolutely beautiful.

--
Real revolution starts with learning.
If you're not angry, you're not paying attention.
- Rise against

No idea. The story ends there lol. If I wanted there to be him finding something, I would have put it in . Thanks for the

--
Hello Toilet
`poisonedrose - thanks brett <£...ahhh brit love

I enjoyed that a lot, actually. I can't exactly describe why, but.. it just makes me happy. Reading it. And the way it ends is very nice. Its just hopeful, is all. If that makes any sense.

--
She dressed like vintage records
and spoke like aged whiskey
when I took her home
and painted the ceiling with her voice.

- The Rental, `Drunken-Splice

I'm glad you enjoyed it, and I like to think there is some hope for the character at the end as well

--
Hello Toilet
`poisonedrose - thanks brett <£...ahhh brit love

=] Good. Have you ever considered making a book or something and seeing how it sells? I would definitely buy it!

--
She dressed like vintage records
and spoke like aged whiskey
when I took her home
and painted the ceiling with her voice.

- The Rental, `Drunken-Splice

haha, thanks for the encouragement, but I'll be taking my time before I publish anything. If I do, I want it to be of the best quality and I still feel I'm learning how to use my voice, so to speak (lol pun intended).

--
Hello Toilet
`poisonedrose - thanks brett <£...ahhh brit love

I completely understand. I feel as though I'm still learning as well, and you're so much farther along than I am, even. And you're welcome. Any time you need any encouragement, I'm here. Haha.

--
She dressed like vintage records
and spoke like aged whiskey
when I took her home
and painted the ceiling with her voice.

- The Rental, `Drunken-Splice